Why Asking the Right Questions Gives You the Right Answers
Day in and day out you go through life evaluating things and you don't even know it. Sounds silly, right? Well, it's true. You don't even realize that you are having a constant inner dialogue about EVERYTHING. Why? Because how we think about what we think about is habitual.
You ask yourself questions about everything you think about and you don't even know it! And ,would you believe that the kind of questions you ask yourself determine the quality of your life?
If you take a quick minute to notice that the next thing that comes into your head, you will find that your mind is flooded with a rush of questions; questions that are being fired off in your brain so rapidly that you can't even keep pace with them if you chose to write them down.
For example, I am looking at this small jar of peanut butter with a spoon that I have placed on top of the jar, having had a bit of it for my lunch. I see the spoon gracefully balancing itself on top of the jar and immediately start firing of questions to myself: "What if I just took a little bit more?" " I love peanut butter, but how many calories would that be?" " Shouldn't I try something else?" "I should put it out of sight, right?" All of these questions came barreling forward, one after the other at breakneck speed and I didn't even realize it!
Then I look to my right and see the cup that is half filled with water. " Should I finish the water, cause I am pretty thirsty?" "That means that I will have to get up and get some more, right?" "Should I stop typing right now and got get some water?" " What if I forget what I wanted to write next if I got some more water?" and on and on and on......
I think you get the picture.
To be honest, I had never realized how many questions I habitually ask myself about things in my life; from the random and easily forgotten to the significant and major aspects of my life.
I realized that whatever I was thinking about had one thing in common: the questions that I asked myself about that particular circumstance, determined the meaning I brought to it and therefore, impacted what I did about it.
Unless you consciously choose to ask yourself different questions you will continue to funnel your life experiences in the same way. And, you will remain in the same place.
Change the questions you ask yourself and you change how you experience life. Questions hold a tremendous amount of power over how deeply you invest yourself in anything; job, relationships, finances, etc.
"Some men see things as they are, and say, Why? I dream of things that never were, and say, Why not?" - George Bernard Shaw
The quickest way to get out of a negative state of mind is to ask yourself different questions so that you change your focus.
Typically, if in a depressed state, you might ask yourself questions that disempower you such as "Why is happening to me?" or "Why can't I get out of this black hole?" or "What's the use?"
And guess what? If you ask yourself these questions, your mind will give you answers. And it just may answer you back with. "because you're a failure anyway", "because you can't do anything right" or "because other people are more deserving than you." "because you're stupid."
But what if you asked questions that changed your focus? What if, instead of asking yourself questions that fed into your high calibre pity party, you began to ask yourself questions that opened the gateway to possibility like "Ok, I know I feel down and out, what do I need to do to feel better?" or " How can I use this sadness to help me or others?" "What can I do right now to make sure that I don't feel this way again then next time I am faced with this situation?"
When you ask yourself questions that serve as a driving force for change, than you can impact your life in ways that you never imagined.
If you want to change any part of your life, you have to hold yourself to higher standards, change your belief about what's possible, and develop a better strategy.
It's time to challenge your old ways of questioning what you think about. The more proactive questions you ask yourself the more proactive answers you will get.
Don't validate the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Think against your thinking grain and do something different. Stop yourself in mid-question and ask yourself if the questions that you are thinking about are really working for you?
It's about time, don't you think?
In love and light, Janis www.cohenfamilycounseling.com