Some regrets are bigger than others.
When you think about what you regret, you automatically remember what you wish you had done differently.
But.......that isn't the only implication of regret.
Regret also signals you to live differently right now.
I have heard many people say that "if I only knew THEN what I know NOW, my life would have been totally different."
Perhaps that is true.
Truthfully, though, you are meant to be here, in this moment, exactly in the way that you are.
Fortunately, Spirit gives us many opportunities to change our paths, even if we have screwed up before.
When I was talking about how regret impacts people, a very wise woman once said to me, "It's never too late."
She is right.
"The quality of your life is directly related to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with." (Tony Robbins)
Regret, clearly, is about fear based decisions and also, for many of us, about ignorance and just not knowing then, what we know now.
Having known regret, I have realized that when I decided to do differently, my regrets faded away.
You know that when you choose differently, you tap into your inner strength and play bigger in your life and in the lives of others.
And, with new choices, comes some degree of uncertainty.
Uncertainty can be the very thing you need to grow.
We all need to become comfortable with what we don't know, but take a chance anyway, because it is our souls way of leading us along an enlightened path.
So, what is holding you back from letting regret go?
Holding onto it will only keep you down and will only reinforce the fear and the irrational justification you initially had to avoid doing what scared you in the first place.
Regret is a glimpse of the story you tell yourself.
It's all about what you wish you had done, but didn't.
Perhaps you were not an independent thinker and followed the guidance of others; forfeiting the opportunity to listen to your inner guidance?
Perhaps you were encouraged to be fearlful, careful, and to avoid taking chances?
Perhaps some of your life experiences lead you to be cautious and pragmatic, rather than impulsive and exploratory?
Regardless of the reason why you have regret in your life, you must understand that regret's only place is in the past.
You can bring it into the present and allow it to impact your future, but it doesn't belong in either place.
You must make a choice to leave it wear it originated.
One of the best pieces of advice that I have been given is that in order to abolish regret, you must learn decide to choose differently, right now!
And, that means that you must choose to redefine who you are, so that you can make a different life for yourself.
Define your story based on YOUR definitions, not based on how other's define you.
I promise you that what you THINK you fear really isn't as big as what you believe it to be.
Sometimes having no more regrets means that you try something new and tell your critical voices to "shut the hell up!"
Disprove your critical thinking and you create the space for the new and true you.
It takes honesty to acknowledge what you wish you had done or had been in your life.
But that is the past.
It takes bravery to commit to choose to live without regret, from this point forward.
And this is your present and your future.
So, what is your story telling about you now?
Are you going to jump in with both feet and once and for all silence those gremlins in your head?
Are you going to do something you have always wanted to do and have fun doing it?
Are you going to wash the stench of regret off your shoes and travel on a clean path?
It's your life story book.
If there are chapters that you wish to re-write from your past, craft a new story line right now!
You can do nothing about what has already happened, but you can do whatever you want in this moment and in the moments that are to come.
Go ahead. Start your new life chapter.
Give it a cool title, you know, the kind that is intriguing and begs the reader to read more and the author to write more.
I send you the gifts of starting today and every day with a clean slate, with the intention of doing right by yourself and others, and the courage to take chances.
Remember, no regrets.
In love and light, Janis www.cohenfamilycounseling.com