She was pregnant with her fifth child, due in two days. Her younger brother passed away two years ago. Her father passed away last year. Her mother passed away two months ago. She was the only surviving member of her nuclear family.
She came to see me for a reading because she wanted to know more about her life and what to do next. The tears flowed easily for "T" as she accounted for all of the losses she experienced. Here is what she told me when she sat down.
"I want to know about my husband and my marriage. He's cheated on me twice in the 16 years that we have been together. I don't even like him anymore. Should I leave him?"
"I never thought this would be my life. I never wanted marriage or children. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my children. And, I guess G-d gave me my kids so that I wouldn't suffer more than I do since all of my family is gone. But, I wanted to be more. I imagined myself as an engineer or doing something professional. That clearly didn't happen."
"I want to know if my parents and my brother are o.k. and if they are with me. I miss them."
"I feel like a failure. I see what other people have accomplished and I haven't done anything like that. What do I need to know about my life now?"
"Your father as here smiling at you, I said. He is very proud of you and guides you. He needs to settle his regrets about who he wasn't for you. This is information you don't know about him, but he needs to work through this to move forward. Your mother was very critical. She didn't know anything differently. Yes, she loved you. They all did and DO! Although she has always shown her sharp side, she is actually waiting to see what you do with your life and she is proud of you. Your brother just adores you. He smiles a lot- what a smile he has! He is with you always. The two of you had a very close relationship and it is evidenced in the energy the two of you shared. This differs from the actual chronological age of each you- the six year age difference. The relationship feels as though y'all were only two years apart."
"My brother and I were very close and I loved my parents. My dad and I were particularly close. What do I need to do with my life? T asked.
"What do you feel passionate about?" I said.
"Well, my dad was a chef and taught me everything I know about cooking. I love to cook and he has this one recipe for peach cobbler that I want to make into a business."
"Now we are getting somewhere. Tell me about your plans, because they tell me that you can have a very successful business with this." I said.
She explained her plans and began to get excited about it. She could see herself creating a life that felt compelling, creative, and profitable. We continued to move forward with this momentum.
T asked, "Should I leave my husband. I don't trust him. But, if I leave himthen I will be a single mother of five and he is a pretty good dad."
"The decision to leave your husband is up to you. I am not to tell you what to do. They are telling me to tell you to get your ducks in a row before you make any decisions. You are to be on your way to financial security before you uproot. Your children will be helping you in your business and your artistic daughter can design the logo for you pies." I shared.
"WOW! Yes, my nine year old daughter is very artistic and loves to draw! I can do this. I know someone, a woman friend, who is a successful baker and she said that she would help me figure things out." As "T" shared this, shefinally got settled into the couch and exhaled.
"Yes you most certainly can! Your father is very proud of you and is helping you from the other side. Don't worry, he will guide you every step of the way." I said.
Tears flowed down her face as she, for the first time in her life, believed something different about herself and her life; that she wasn't a failure or inadequate. That she didn't waste her life and that she had time to create a different reality.
She also realized that her children were given to her to soften the blow of losing her entire family, in what seemed like a hostile takeover.
She began to have hope and to connect with "possibility".
As she left the session she turned to me and said, " I'm gonna do this."
"Yes, you are! You need to face forward and live your dream. T, all things are possible and you CAN do anything you set your mind to! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!"
"Thank you so much. I needed that." T said.
T's life isn't different from yours or mine. Whether you are married with children or not, have an intact living family or not or feel as though you missed the opportunity to make your life 'worth something', I want you to remember this:
Dreams are never lost. They are just put aside or delayed for laterrealization.
Each of you has that "one idea" that can change your life. Identify your passions and go where they lead you. For when you do what your passions dictate, your life CAN be as delicious as a dessert.
In love and light,